downDATE: something old and basketball

This downDATE is a couple of weeks late.  Catching up with an old friend is a positive.  Going out with an old boyfriend can also be positive.  However, allowing yourself to get caught up in this OLD boyfriend is 9 times out of 10 a negative.

The basketball game was a lot of fun.  He was a gentleman, but he always handled the basics pretty well.   He looked GREAT!  The attraction between us has always been electrocuting.  From day one there was chemistry.  Like Mary said, “Chemistry was crazy from the get-go, neither one of us knew why.”  Knowing that, I should have known this basketball game date would be fun, but difficult.  But, you live and you learn.

The basketball date lead to daily phone calls, at least 4 or 5 times a day.  It lead to daily greeting cards.  It lead to me almost falling back in love with this person.  I was so blind to think perhaps… this time… he’d come correct.  You already know that did not happen.  Hence the downDATE report.  To his credit, he is not a bad guy, he just has a lot of luvshitz to clean up.  You’re wondering what I mean by luvshitz?  Well, luvshitz is all that baggage from past relationships that continues to find its way into our current life and relationship.   Yea, all that messy, nasty, stinky stuff we must all go through at least once to learn what YOU DON’T WANT.  Yep.  That crap.

Well, he has a lot of that and even though he is very close to his fabulous forties, he has so much maturing to do.  He has not figured out how to keep his life compartmentalized.  He totally is a candidate for a life organizer.  But, I have three children to raise and I do not have time to raise a thirtysomething man.  Dating should be fun.  Chemistry should not only be physical, but also mental.  We have the physical chemistry down.  The mental part… Well that has been the problem for some time now.  I’m in the classic love stories.  He’s in the trashy-love stories.  See, I’m on page 200 of a Jane Austen and he’s on page 20 of your grocery store market $5.00 love story.  You know the type.  Soft back with a long-haired sexy white man embracing a blond blue-eyed damsel in distress on the cover.  Yea.  The trashy love stories.  He is used to women that are okay with mediocre pursuits and courtship.  I on the other hand will not accept such simple attempts and therefore, this wonderful basketball date turned into a brief courtship, has ended in a downDATE.  Perhaps in the future when his luvshitz is gone, I’ll give him another shot.  Or perhaps me giving him the boot, finally, will produce an outstanding man for the next woman.  In any event, I feel good about my decision.  If I have produced a romantic mature man for another fabulous woman as myself, I’ve done something right.   Although a downDATE, I see the positive in all of this and will move on with the lessons God intended me to learn.

Signing off until my next dating adventure,

Dani

Mr. BJ: the upDATE

The upDATE on my blue juice experience is, surprisingly positive.  This young man is well beyond his age when it comes to the qualities of a gentleman.  Although he was half an hour late, I didn’t complain, because I’m often fashionably late.  Also him being late, gave me time to cruise the aisle of Barnes & Noble.   Another FAB past time of mine.

Happy hour turned into dinner and drinks and three hours of conversation.  Honestly, I did not think BJ and I would have much in common, given the 10 year age gap between us.  Especially since I’m the senior party.   However, he is mature for his age and can hold his own.   He is still young though.  He hasn’t found himself yet, and I didn’t expect that he would have.  I’m in my mid-30s and I have yet to find myself.  I’m still searching for the “real” Dani. 

He is passionate about helping people, especially the youth in his community.  He’s from Oaktown.  North Oakland.  Although he attended school in Berkeley, he calls Oakland home.  He currently resides in Oakland as well and hopes to find a career where he can give back to his community.  This resonated with me because given his age, I was surprised he already had his eye on giving back and not on dollar $ign$.  To quote Mr. BJ, “if I was happy with $800 in my bank account, having $800,000 is not going to make me any more happy.”   Sounds like a man with some substance, if you ask me. 

Too often I run into these men with (or even without) money having dollar bills being their main goal in life.  I rarely meet a man who is doing something (or desires to do something) because he is passionate about it.  Honestly, most of the men I meet are always talking about how to make their next dollar.  Even more depressing, is that none of these men have sense of community or recognize the importance of giving back to the community and especially protecting and guiding our youth.  So, to hear a young man of 24 years (yes, he’s only 24 and just made 24 in November).  To hear him discuss his ideal career, and with such passion and substance, was refreshing.   It gave me a much-needed optimistic boost required in dating. 

So, I’ll be seeing some more of Mr. Blue Juice.  Oh yea… the blue hair was gone.  It was temporary and he said he would never show up to a date with me with crazy hair color.  Unless of course I was okay with it.  He has an eclectic sense of humor.  He is a sweet guy.  Handsome, smart, huge amount of potential and for the meantime, the perfect candidate in getting my “groove” back (no, mom, not that type of groove).   Stella was on to something when she decided to date the much younger Winston. 

Single and the Town, logging off and getting ready for my next date.  This time, a basketball game with something old.  Tune in this weekend for that upDATE, or maybe a downDATE.  We’ll see.

The EB in Emeryville

My first date since the big break up is tonight.   It should be interesting.  This man is 10 years my junior.  And… based on the FB updates of recent, his hair is now blue.  What’s really up with these young men these days?  My brother’s hair was Rihanna-red on just one side.  Now this boy has gone and dyed his entire head Superman-blue.  And he’s calling himself the Blue Juice.  WTF. 

It should be interesting, to say the least. 

We’re meeting for happy hour at the Elephant Bar in Emeryville.  I am not a fan of the food at the EB, but, you know, the drinks are okay.   I am going to try not to pass judgment on this boy’s head.   I am going to try to look beyond the exterior and try to get to know something about Mr. Blue Juice.  I promise to have a good time and not place expectations on this boy due to my past experiences.   I will enjoy my blue juice.  LOL!!!

He will never ever live down the blue hair.  I hope it was temporary and I am not going to be seen in public with a fool with blue hair.  Seriously.  Is that supposed to be cool?  Is that funny?  I don’t quite understand the attractiveness of blue hair on a grown man. 

What’s hilarious is that even after the blue hair is gone, I’ll call him Blue Juice.  LOL!!  He will not live that name down.  

Until tomorrow’s update, I’m Single and the Town, signing off and on my way to mingle with a PYT called Blue Juice.

My Prayers go out to the families in Japan

May they find peace and comfort in the aftermath of this devastating natural disaster.

Anata to issho ni kami ga arimasu
あなたと一緒に神があります

Single and the Town